Minamahal Kong Pamilia,
I don't really know how to start this letter, I want to convey a lot of things in this, but I know a lot will slip my mind. Forgive me if I'm short in my other letters, a lot of things happen in one week, it's crazy really! So I suppose I'll start about my area and companion! So like I said last letter, I'm in Calaca Batangas (B*Town). This week has been really good for me, we've done a lot of tracting and visiting members and almost every members I've been to- when they hear I'm from Arizona- asks about Elder Yeatze. (Speaking of which could you have him email me or pass me his email). Its interesting to be following him haha. The members here couldn't be nicer! There are a ton of Returned Missioaries, and ones leaving soon.
For Yeatze: sa wakas si jason lucernas ay papasok ng mission niya, ngunit hindi pa siyang tumanggap ng call niya. Matagal daw ang paghihintay niya, baka pupunta siya sa states! Astig siya talaga, ang lahat ng mga member dito ay mababait. lagi kumakain kami kina noche! kahapon sa temple dedication viewing, nagtanong si Nanay Asia Fines, kung tandaan mo siya! Grabe ang kaniyang conversion story, gusto kong ipinasalamat sa iyo, para sa iyong kasipagan dito. binago mo ang maraming lives and 'di kailanman makakalimutan sila. Salamat sa payo na ibinigay mo sa akin bago pumasok ako ng mission. napakaligaya ako dito kahit mahirap-hirap. palagi naalala ko ang payo mo, "relax ka lang". But I must admit, nang bata pa ako sa mission, akala ko na ang pagsunod ay pinika mahalaga so siempre nakipagaway kami ng trainer ko. pero hindi ganoon ang mission. naniniwala pa ako na mahalaga siya talaga! ngayon masunorin pa ako o ibig sabihin sinisikap ko na gawin ang tama araw araw, ngunit hindi ko itama ang mga companions ko and ibang missionario, mali 'yon bahala sila ipapakita ko ang magandang halimbawa sa kanila at kung ayaw nila sige na! well, salamat talaga, pagkatapos ang mission ko, magkikita tayo...masarap talaga ang chicken adobo ko kasi---ingat palagi ha? pakiemail mo ako. nakadestino ka ba sa marinduque? anong mga areas mo? naging mission president ng cebu temple si President Mortimor
Elder Painagan and I are getting along well together, I love the kid and we are learning to work hard together. I realized that I've been pretty timid in tracting, or now I'm just being more bold. Instead of walking around and trying to find a good location where no ones drunk, they aren't washing there clothes, they aren't gambling, or fighting...Painagan has taught me to teach everyone, offer lessons, be confident...I'm trying to teach him when we get rejected don't get mad. But sometimes it's impossible. The other day we went tracting, We walked to this ladies house and I said we were missionaries and wanted to talk and get to know her, and share a message. To which she replied:
her: pasensya na kayo, christians kami: sorry guys were christians
me: Maganda po yen, kasi christian po kami din! siempre naniniwala kami kay christo!: Thats great! were christians to, of course we believe in christ!
her: marami akong ginagawa!: uhh I have a lot of things to do!
me: sige po Nay! Tutulungan namin Kayo! : thats okay Mom? we'll help you!
her: ayoko, talaga busy ako! : No thats okay, I'm really busy
Me: sige po Nay NExt time na long! : Okay...Mom? Next time!
her: 'wag na lang: No just don't come back
me: Sige! Ingat po kayo!--alright! Take care!
when we left, I looked at my companion, and I laughed. that's the first time anyones every said "Huwag Na Lang" to me. Or just told me not to come back, but it happens, religion is such a personal thing. One thing I really liked to say when were tracting is. We aren't here to force you to leave your religion, we're here to share a message about Jesus Christ, how he's called a prophet and restored his gospel on Earth. Your the one who will find out if it's true or not, its all up to you. I can't believe how much easier it is to teach out her opposed to the island. It's quite a relief! and I am definately a lot happier! I read my journal the other day on March 16th, it was a short entry it said "I'm having serious doubts about my mission, I can't stand marinduque, I don't know what to do" Now because I'm so happy, I can't even imagine I felt that way. Interesting how fast we forget our trials when the Lord blesses us and we're happy. The thing I'm focusing on the most this week is just being happy, always having a smile. Stop worrying about obedience and everying and live in this moment. If we only get 2 lessons today, whatever. I really love this place.
Last night, we say a really bad accident (isn't my first and will not be my last) The motorcycle driver was drunk, no helmet, and tried to over take and rammed into the side of another tricycle. The guy looked pathetic and sad. He had a huge swelling on his head, blood spewing from his mouth, his frail body was shaking, his feet were bleeding like you wouldn't believe, face was all scrape up and was unable to speak. For some reason or another haha, I thought of how I would feel, if this happened to one of you. I began to become really sad and then started thinking about home---that's never good haha. I realize how much I miss you all. I don't always mention it in my letters or say my true feelings, but all I can say is last night I felt real homesick. Which was quickly relieved because I know how important this work is. To take a quote from President Uchtdorfs talk 2 conferences ago "I'm doing a work and cannot come down" I can't give into temptation here, I can't get distracted, so If I seem short with any of you, or you feel I'm not telling you much, or think you dont' even know me anymore or I don't think of you. You have no idea how incredibly wrong you are. I realize I'm hitting 1 year since I've been home next month...that's crazy. Half way done....why does it have to be so fast? why do I feel that I'm just begining to understand the lords work and I'm half way done, theres so much more I want to do, so much more i want to learn and experience. I have no doubt in my mind the Lord is taking care of you and me here. I've seen so many miraclous here. I've seen his hand in this work. I know he lives, he has a plan, and he interacts with us. It's no coincidence, nothing is. I love you all so much and cannot wait to see you. When you pick me up we shall visit all my old areas....even marinduque. ;0
Ingat po lagi,
Elder Gonzalez
p.s. we watched the Cebu Temple Dedication! It was so awesome to see how faithful the saints our over there! and watch President Monson, try to play piano haha
Thursday, June 24, 2010
June 9th, 2010
I want to really thank you Mom for the letter that you wrote, it really meant a lot to me. It spoke to me how I am feeling at this time, it's the same time problem that I've been facing my whole mission, the same probably any religious person faces, and what the ancients wrote and trifled with for years and years. That problem boils down to really, Knowing what you should do, and failing to do it. Or knowing God's commandments and just disobeying. Or knowing the mission rules and not following them. I was lucky enough to be assigned with Elder Scow in Marinduque he taught me a lot! He taught me the good side of being obedient. I recieved a letter from a Sister Missionary here that had some good knowledge in it. Basically said "A person can only be obedient to the mission rules for the love of the lord, mission president, investigators, etc. For any other reason is really just for pride. To say that you are obedient and hold it over someones head is just wrong and hypocritical. The reason I want to be obedient is of course I love the Lord, the Mission President, but I suppose mostly because I hate the feeling I get! You know what I'm talking about, that guilty-knowyourgoingwrong feeling. That presses itself upon you and makes you feel uncomfortable feeling. The feeling and thoughts you get that make you think...wait I gave all this away so that I could become this kind of missionary? I'm not confessing here that I have gone off the deep end. I still work hard and I follow the mission rules, however with my new zone I dont feel as comfortable as I did, and that's scary haha. I never thought I was weak to peer pressure, but theres a lot of pressure. But I will stand strong and I plan on not doing that which I know is wrong or should do. Like leaving the mission area, not working hard, slacking off, hanging out , emailing on non-p-days. Now one thing I want to make very clear. I have never corrected anyone here for what they've done or scolded them. I don't believe in that. In fact the Lord said one should only rebuke when the holy ghost tells them to. I still consider them good people, I just don't like the feeling I get when I do those things. I pray with the Lord that I may stay strong and do what he expects me to do, what I signed up to do, what I promised I would do when I wrote a prophet of God accepting my mission call. I want you to know I am not perfect, never will be in this life, but I try my best to follow most of the rules (the ones I think are reasonable--in a companionship its a give and take relationship) It's probably going to be a trial for me, but don't fear I will be true and faithful until the end, even if I have to outright say "No, I'm not doing that, that's not what I signed up for...think what you want...You guys can go do that, I'll go do something else"
In the end, I'm just going to be me. I'm going to be myself and myself likes to listen to music that sometimes isn't appropriate, and myself likes to work really hard, myself likes to see the change in peoples lives, and myself likes to be myself. So I won't let them change me. Myself is still learning and growing. That's my motto I suppose, I'm myself and I'll be obedient and keep on keepin' on, because I feel good when I go to sleep and wake up in the morning. Don't worry about me!
My new area is Calaca, Batangas and old area of Elder Yeatz (they all still know him weird!)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/41/Ph_locator_batangas_calaca.png/280px-Ph_locator_batangas_calaca.png
It's a great area, president said I was really lucky to go there and yesterday at church I learned why. The branch is so strong there, it was a bit of a shock coming from Boac. I didn't have to do anything but listen in Church and then after teach the Single Adults how to introduce lessons in missionary work. About 100 people came to church, there are a ton of Return Missionaries, who actually know there stuff and are really helping the Branch. There is this one RM named Brother Noche, who is AMAZING! He is setting up the branch missionaries to work and tract FOR US. He said "Well in my mission I really hated tracting and finding, so...WE'LL DO IT FOR YOU! haha so i'm stoked about that and here im really excited to work! My new companion is Elder Painagan from Davao City, Mindanao. I love the kid, I was his District Leader in Sto. Tomas! We worked together for a day 4 months ago and now im his comp, weird huh? What's awesome is Elder Centeno my old companion is in my district again!! I get to see him every P-day and Wednesday at District Meeting! I'm stoked to be in this area it's amazing honestly I absolutely love it! I'm still district leader, I don't really know how long I'll be here. Perhaps I will become ZL next transfer. Elder Hansen is so amazing! He's training now! he's a stud for sure!
I don't have many stories right now. But I still wake up everyday and I love this work. I'm still being challenged, and I'm still learning a TON. Thank you guys so much for everything honeslty you've taught me. But theres nothing I could have done to really prepare for this mission. It's like everyday is a new adventure. Everyday is different for sure. I love the Lord and I love you all so much, thanks for your letter again mom, thats one im gonna print off and keep in the scriptures!
Hope zach recovers from the Kissing disease, Tiff survives in china, jessica keeps being masipag or hardworking, you have fun in LA/San Fran man what I would give for a vacation haha! (Or really just to sleep in a place with air conditioning!) Curt keeps having fun and waking up really early in the morning when my friends and I are just returning home haha
Thank you guys so much, I really cannot explain how much I've changed and experienced here. Looking in Hindsight, it's as if I've never really done anything but waste time when I was back at home. I'm begining to truly find out who I am, when I come back I want to sit down with you all and have a great conversation. I can't wait till then. Only about 13 1/2 months....who's counting?
Love you all,
Elder Gonzalez.
In the end, I'm just going to be me. I'm going to be myself and myself likes to listen to music that sometimes isn't appropriate, and myself likes to work really hard, myself likes to see the change in peoples lives, and myself likes to be myself. So I won't let them change me. Myself is still learning and growing. That's my motto I suppose, I'm myself and I'll be obedient and keep on keepin' on, because I feel good when I go to sleep and wake up in the morning. Don't worry about me!
My new area is Calaca, Batangas and old area of Elder Yeatz (they all still know him weird!)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/41/Ph_locator_batangas_calaca.png/280px-Ph_locator_batangas_calaca.png
It's a great area, president said I was really lucky to go there and yesterday at church I learned why. The branch is so strong there, it was a bit of a shock coming from Boac. I didn't have to do anything but listen in Church and then after teach the Single Adults how to introduce lessons in missionary work. About 100 people came to church, there are a ton of Return Missionaries, who actually know there stuff and are really helping the Branch. There is this one RM named Brother Noche, who is AMAZING! He is setting up the branch missionaries to work and tract FOR US. He said "Well in my mission I really hated tracting and finding, so...WE'LL DO IT FOR YOU! haha so i'm stoked about that and here im really excited to work! My new companion is Elder Painagan from Davao City, Mindanao. I love the kid, I was his District Leader in Sto. Tomas! We worked together for a day 4 months ago and now im his comp, weird huh? What's awesome is Elder Centeno my old companion is in my district again!! I get to see him every P-day and Wednesday at District Meeting! I'm stoked to be in this area it's amazing honestly I absolutely love it! I'm still district leader, I don't really know how long I'll be here. Perhaps I will become ZL next transfer. Elder Hansen is so amazing! He's training now! he's a stud for sure!
I don't have many stories right now. But I still wake up everyday and I love this work. I'm still being challenged, and I'm still learning a TON. Thank you guys so much for everything honeslty you've taught me. But theres nothing I could have done to really prepare for this mission. It's like everyday is a new adventure. Everyday is different for sure. I love the Lord and I love you all so much, thanks for your letter again mom, thats one im gonna print off and keep in the scriptures!
Hope zach recovers from the Kissing disease, Tiff survives in china, jessica keeps being masipag or hardworking, you have fun in LA/San Fran man what I would give for a vacation haha! (Or really just to sleep in a place with air conditioning!) Curt keeps having fun and waking up really early in the morning when my friends and I are just returning home haha
Thank you guys so much, I really cannot explain how much I've changed and experienced here. Looking in Hindsight, it's as if I've never really done anything but waste time when I was back at home. I'm begining to truly find out who I am, when I come back I want to sit down with you all and have a great conversation. I can't wait till then. Only about 13 1/2 months....who's counting?
Love you all,
Elder Gonzalez.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
May 25, 2010
Subject:
Mom,
First and foremost and I want to say how much of a strength you've been to me through all of this. without you I don't think I would still be here. I treasure your weekly emails and that letter you gave me on July 19th 2009, more than I do sometimes the scriptures. I also want to thank you for your constant, unchanging, and inspiring motherly love that you seem to shed on me, every morning I rise. I'm not quite sure how you do, but even though I am thousands of miles away, I feel that you are so near. Interesting enough we went to an Island today, took a little tiny boat and it started stormy, when landed on this little island and it just rained like crazy and was rainy, perhaps you were really thinking of me ha! I wish I could express everything that was in my heart, but I know that email and talking on the phone twice a year is sufficient, So I hope that you will trust me when I say: I love you more than you will ever truly know, and the reason I am still here is because of you.
In regards to Tiffany, I'm extremely proud of her, I really am. I am happy she is experiencing the world and doing what she feels she needs to do. I believe that God calls people to certain positions in their lives and they need not "Hide Their Talents" (The parable of Christ in the New Testament when his servants hid their talents at the last day the Lord takes away the talents from the one who hid it and never multiplied his talents) At the same time, I hope it's for the right reasons. In all honesty and truth, the things I am doing is not for anyone but myself, the God that gave me life, and for his children that often persecute, mock, or love me. I don't pride in the recognition I have or for the callings I've received in the mission. If it were up to me, I would have it that I got no callings, I do like leading missionaries here, but when you become a leader, the other missionaries from your batch take it to heart and there is always people comparing themselves it gets really old. It also gets really difficult because you need to be an example all the time and you answer for all their mistakes, which I know you are used to. I just hope Tiffany is gaining self-confidence, is finding out who she is, doing things for the right reasons, and discovering how great God is.
Zachary, I couldn't be happier than I am in him right now, I really see the tremendous blessings being poured at on everyone of my family, ESPECIALLY him. I love him and have all trust in what he is doing. I know him; he is my best friend, my little brother, and my inspiration. I look at the football picture you sent almost every morning and I smile, I'm so excited to come back and watch his Junior and Senior games. However, at the same time I am so scared for him. That story about that kid who "Roids" I'm afraid he is in a time in his life where there’s a ton of GOOD and BAD influences. I know exactly what goes on in High School. I was young once too ;), I have friends who fell into the darkness of drugs, steroids, drinking, and even the obsession of sex and immortality. My only advice for you Bro, is stay up man. Be real, be smart, and don’t do anything stupid. Like Joseph from the Old Testament story, RUN If you have to (Thanks Sister Morris) Don't get caught up in trying to be better than everyone, don't get caught up in Pride. Stay humble I promise you it's worth it, If you want an example of who you should be...look at Floyd Mayweather, he's an amazing athlete, but look at the way he conducts himself, his arrogance and pride bespeaks ignorance and lack of intelligence. You will do amazing things!
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Jessica, Mom, tells me your going through a challenging time right now.. Jessica I urge you, as a brother, friend, and one of your best friends. rise to a higher standard, stand a little taller, be better than you have ever been. You’re a strong and beautiful girl and need to ensure that you surround yourself with people that love you and respect you. You are a hardworking an successful business woman and will be able to accomplish anything you set your mind too..I still think you should get into animal care field.. Maybe not between you and MOM you guys would bring everything home, just for awhile as MOM use to say.. I promise you in the name of Jesus Christ, if you start doing the things you know you must do, as hard and as tough as it seems right now things will change and you will find your place and happiness… I am going to tell you what Mom tells me regularly,, I am always with you, TODAY ITS WINDY AND AS IT HITS ME IN THE FACE I THINK OF WHAT Mom ALWAYS Tells me..WHEN YOU FEEL THAT WIND IN YOUR FACE, THAT RAIN ON YOUR CHEEK.. THE SWEAT ON YOUR BROW.. ITS YOUR BROTHER REACHING OUT 6500 MILES FROM YOU STILL HOLDING AND COMFORTING HIS BIG SISTER ….ITS ME GIVING YOU THE BREEZE TO CATCH YOUR BREATH, THE RAIN TO COOL YOU OFF AND SWEAT TO MAKE YOU STRONG.. WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO THINK THOSE THOUGHTS AND KNOW THE LOVE AND YET SADNESS THAT CONSUMES ME HERE, IT WOULD BE OVER WHELMING. I KNOW THAT THE SAME GREAT STARS YOU SEE AT NIGHT OR THE MOON OVER YOUR HEAD.. ARE THE SAME THAT COME TO ME HERE AND THEY HERE MY PRAYERS TO PROTECT YOU, KEEP YOU STRONG,
KEEP YOU FOCUSED, TAKE AWAY ANY FEAR, LONELINESS, FATIGUE, OR FEELINGS OF DEFEAT.. TO TAKE ALL THAT FROM YOUR GRASP AND SEND IT TO ME.. TO SHARE, FIX OR JUST HOLD ONTO.
I BELIEVE THE STARS ARE THE ANGELS/EYES TO THE LORD LOOKING OUT FOR ALL OF US..
WE HAVE UNCLE BUD, GREAT NAN. ME MAW AND THEY ARE ALL ON OUR SIDE THEY UNDERSTAND AND BELIEVE IN BOTH OF US, SO THAT WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS TIME IN OUR LIVES AND BOTH BE BETTER PEOPLE.. THESE ARE THE TIMES OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATION FOR BOTH OF US..
. . You're life will change. I urge you! Please I say this out of Love and in the depths of humility. Whatever decision you make in your life I will be behind you, but I will continually push and persuade you to higher planes. I know you can do it sister!
Curt, I cannot thank you enough for the opportunities you've given me in my youth; they have been of eternal consequence. I'm becoming the man I want to be, because I had an example to look up to and to emulate. I know you still have your flaws, we all do. You've given me many strengths and I thank you for all that you’ve done for me. I want to apologize for not spending enough time with you while growing up, I was a brat of a kid, but we shall spend more time when I get back. I plan on getting really good at golf, because I know I have no hope against Zach in Basketball, Volleyball, Track, Baseball, Football, or really any sport for that matter, the boy is a machine.. Heck he probably golf’s like a Pro too, what happen there.. He obviously got a double scoop of athletic abilities…. At least I will have a club to keep him at bay and you have golf clubs and a Visa Card ;)
Mom, The other night, we were teaching English to a group of members here in Boac, and I glanced at the moon and it made an amazing impact on me. It was a half crescent or it looked liked "God's Toe Nail" and above it was a star (which I later found out was Mars) it was a beautiful sight, it made me think of you and the love you continue to shower on me. Something that I've learned here mom recently. Is that some things our out of our control. I've been fighting and striving and helping members with their drinking problems and it literally kills me when we stop buy and their drunk, then I have to run the church here the President doesn't show up to church, by giving speaks, blessing the Sacrament, organizing the classes, teaching and teaching It's heartbreaking to be rejecting and to pull these children metaphorically out of the street and way of danger, but nevertheless see them run in again and get hit by a car. So Mom, my advice to you now is...Let go! Let go of all that stress. It's a hard feeling to let go of responsibility, but the "Responsibility" That you hold is not yours to hold. You worry and focus and want to help so many people which is amazing and shows the extreme size of your heart...but you it's not your battle to fight. You can only pull a child out of the street so much, you can only tell someone to do something so many times, in the end they must make the decisions of this dark and dreary world for themselves. If they choose wrong, you will be there to pick them up, but until then, let them free. If that means, if they have to file bankruptcy let them pay the bills, If that means that one of your children ruins their lives through bad decisions, at least you did your part, be there to pick them up and dust them off. Let them make their decisions, but mom it's their decisions to make. I say this out of gratitude and humility not out of pride. I know mom if you let go some of the stress you have, focus on the family, focus on your happiness, focus on your marriage. It seems everyone this day is looking for people to blame and looking for excuses for failures, stop being a crutch to them, let them fall, let them realize they are not what they think they are, then slowly build them up to something greater. Like a building, if you have a weak foundation, you must destroy it first then rebuild it. Mom destroy your old foundation of stress and rebuilding it with compassion and love, but learn to love yourself more Mom, because your amazing!
Nanny and Papa ,Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. I thank you for the opportunity I had to speak to you the other day. I can't even write my feelings I have for you here, you've influenced my life that I cannot even understand yet. The things you've taught me have eternal consequences. Just know I love you so much and miss you
Now, I've thought about this next thing I am going to say and perhaps it was expected to come a lot of earlier than this, but this one thing I know is true. I know all the joy and happiness I have in this life is a direct result of two things. And that's you all my family, and the church. The love I have from you all is exemplified and I truly understand it because of the church and it's teachings because of the goodness of God. Now please listen to this next thing I want to say, please pay heed to what I have to say, I don't say this as a brainwashed missionary or an uneducated 20 year old kid, I say this as a loving, homesick, and heartbroken Son and Missionary. I know that if you read the book of Mormon it will change all your lives. I know that if you listen to the message of the missionaries you will find joy that cannot be explained. I don't have to convince you, you will be convinced. God will manifest the truth of it unto you all. I urge you I beg you, If I was in front of you I would say the same message, Read the Book of Mormon, Meet the Missionaries, Listen to their message ,ask God if the things I have said are true. I'm not saying you need to change your life, If you receive an answer from God he will tell you what to do. I know you have felt the spirit, I know the feeling you get in your hearts when you go to the Church and to the Missionary Night, that isn't a coincidence, it's not just a strange or unfamiliar feeling, its God calling you back to him. There is so much more happiness and joy waiting for you. Just give it one shot; if it's not your cup of tea I will never bother you again with it. Just try it once, I know that God lives, and Jesus Is the Christ, through him we will quiet all our fears and calm all our nerves, I know that Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God and he did see God the Father and his Son Jesus Christ, I know that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God on the earth today, he speaks and councils with God, I know that families can be together forever, and it’s one of my greatest desires to be sealed with you all. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, it's changed my life and I constantly want to be better every time I read it. I know that If you read and pray about it, God will answer your prayers that is a promise that will never change. Thank you for everything and I love you all very much.
love you no matter what,
Josh
Mom,
First and foremost and I want to say how much of a strength you've been to me through all of this. without you I don't think I would still be here. I treasure your weekly emails and that letter you gave me on July 19th 2009, more than I do sometimes the scriptures. I also want to thank you for your constant, unchanging, and inspiring motherly love that you seem to shed on me, every morning I rise. I'm not quite sure how you do, but even though I am thousands of miles away, I feel that you are so near. Interesting enough we went to an Island today, took a little tiny boat and it started stormy, when landed on this little island and it just rained like crazy and was rainy, perhaps you were really thinking of me ha! I wish I could express everything that was in my heart, but I know that email and talking on the phone twice a year is sufficient, So I hope that you will trust me when I say: I love you more than you will ever truly know, and the reason I am still here is because of you.
In regards to Tiffany, I'm extremely proud of her, I really am. I am happy she is experiencing the world and doing what she feels she needs to do. I believe that God calls people to certain positions in their lives and they need not "Hide Their Talents" (The parable of Christ in the New Testament when his servants hid their talents at the last day the Lord takes away the talents from the one who hid it and never multiplied his talents) At the same time, I hope it's for the right reasons. In all honesty and truth, the things I am doing is not for anyone but myself, the God that gave me life, and for his children that often persecute, mock, or love me. I don't pride in the recognition I have or for the callings I've received in the mission. If it were up to me, I would have it that I got no callings, I do like leading missionaries here, but when you become a leader, the other missionaries from your batch take it to heart and there is always people comparing themselves it gets really old. It also gets really difficult because you need to be an example all the time and you answer for all their mistakes, which I know you are used to. I just hope Tiffany is gaining self-confidence, is finding out who she is, doing things for the right reasons, and discovering how great God is.
Zachary, I couldn't be happier than I am in him right now, I really see the tremendous blessings being poured at on everyone of my family, ESPECIALLY him. I love him and have all trust in what he is doing. I know him; he is my best friend, my little brother, and my inspiration. I look at the football picture you sent almost every morning and I smile, I'm so excited to come back and watch his Junior and Senior games. However, at the same time I am so scared for him. That story about that kid who "Roids" I'm afraid he is in a time in his life where there’s a ton of GOOD and BAD influences. I know exactly what goes on in High School. I was young once too ;), I have friends who fell into the darkness of drugs, steroids, drinking, and even the obsession of sex and immortality. My only advice for you Bro, is stay up man. Be real, be smart, and don’t do anything stupid. Like Joseph from the Old Testament story, RUN If you have to (Thanks Sister Morris) Don't get caught up in trying to be better than everyone, don't get caught up in Pride. Stay humble I promise you it's worth it, If you want an example of who you should be...look at Floyd Mayweather, he's an amazing athlete, but look at the way he conducts himself, his arrogance and pride bespeaks ignorance and lack of intelligence. You will do amazing things!
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Jessica, Mom, tells me your going through a challenging time right now.. Jessica I urge you, as a brother, friend, and one of your best friends. rise to a higher standard, stand a little taller, be better than you have ever been. You’re a strong and beautiful girl and need to ensure that you surround yourself with people that love you and respect you. You are a hardworking an successful business woman and will be able to accomplish anything you set your mind too..I still think you should get into animal care field.. Maybe not between you and MOM you guys would bring everything home, just for awhile as MOM use to say.. I promise you in the name of Jesus Christ, if you start doing the things you know you must do, as hard and as tough as it seems right now things will change and you will find your place and happiness… I am going to tell you what Mom tells me regularly,, I am always with you, TODAY ITS WINDY AND AS IT HITS ME IN THE FACE I THINK OF WHAT Mom ALWAYS Tells me..WHEN YOU FEEL THAT WIND IN YOUR FACE, THAT RAIN ON YOUR CHEEK.. THE SWEAT ON YOUR BROW.. ITS YOUR BROTHER REACHING OUT 6500 MILES FROM YOU STILL HOLDING AND COMFORTING HIS BIG SISTER ….ITS ME GIVING YOU THE BREEZE TO CATCH YOUR BREATH, THE RAIN TO COOL YOU OFF AND SWEAT TO MAKE YOU STRONG.. WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO THINK THOSE THOUGHTS AND KNOW THE LOVE AND YET SADNESS THAT CONSUMES ME HERE, IT WOULD BE OVER WHELMING. I KNOW THAT THE SAME GREAT STARS YOU SEE AT NIGHT OR THE MOON OVER YOUR HEAD.. ARE THE SAME THAT COME TO ME HERE AND THEY HERE MY PRAYERS TO PROTECT YOU, KEEP YOU STRONG,
KEEP YOU FOCUSED, TAKE AWAY ANY FEAR, LONELINESS, FATIGUE, OR FEELINGS OF DEFEAT.. TO TAKE ALL THAT FROM YOUR GRASP AND SEND IT TO ME.. TO SHARE, FIX OR JUST HOLD ONTO.
I BELIEVE THE STARS ARE THE ANGELS/EYES TO THE LORD LOOKING OUT FOR ALL OF US..
WE HAVE UNCLE BUD, GREAT NAN. ME MAW AND THEY ARE ALL ON OUR SIDE THEY UNDERSTAND AND BELIEVE IN BOTH OF US, SO THAT WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS TIME IN OUR LIVES AND BOTH BE BETTER PEOPLE.. THESE ARE THE TIMES OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATION FOR BOTH OF US..
. . You're life will change. I urge you! Please I say this out of Love and in the depths of humility. Whatever decision you make in your life I will be behind you, but I will continually push and persuade you to higher planes. I know you can do it sister!
Curt, I cannot thank you enough for the opportunities you've given me in my youth; they have been of eternal consequence. I'm becoming the man I want to be, because I had an example to look up to and to emulate. I know you still have your flaws, we all do. You've given me many strengths and I thank you for all that you’ve done for me. I want to apologize for not spending enough time with you while growing up, I was a brat of a kid, but we shall spend more time when I get back. I plan on getting really good at golf, because I know I have no hope against Zach in Basketball, Volleyball, Track, Baseball, Football, or really any sport for that matter, the boy is a machine.. Heck he probably golf’s like a Pro too, what happen there.. He obviously got a double scoop of athletic abilities…. At least I will have a club to keep him at bay and you have golf clubs and a Visa Card ;)
Mom, The other night, we were teaching English to a group of members here in Boac, and I glanced at the moon and it made an amazing impact on me. It was a half crescent or it looked liked "God's Toe Nail" and above it was a star (which I later found out was Mars) it was a beautiful sight, it made me think of you and the love you continue to shower on me. Something that I've learned here mom recently. Is that some things our out of our control. I've been fighting and striving and helping members with their drinking problems and it literally kills me when we stop buy and their drunk, then I have to run the church here the President doesn't show up to church, by giving speaks, blessing the Sacrament, organizing the classes, teaching and teaching It's heartbreaking to be rejecting and to pull these children metaphorically out of the street and way of danger, but nevertheless see them run in again and get hit by a car. So Mom, my advice to you now is...Let go! Let go of all that stress. It's a hard feeling to let go of responsibility, but the "Responsibility" That you hold is not yours to hold. You worry and focus and want to help so many people which is amazing and shows the extreme size of your heart...but you it's not your battle to fight. You can only pull a child out of the street so much, you can only tell someone to do something so many times, in the end they must make the decisions of this dark and dreary world for themselves. If they choose wrong, you will be there to pick them up, but until then, let them free. If that means, if they have to file bankruptcy let them pay the bills, If that means that one of your children ruins their lives through bad decisions, at least you did your part, be there to pick them up and dust them off. Let them make their decisions, but mom it's their decisions to make. I say this out of gratitude and humility not out of pride. I know mom if you let go some of the stress you have, focus on the family, focus on your happiness, focus on your marriage. It seems everyone this day is looking for people to blame and looking for excuses for failures, stop being a crutch to them, let them fall, let them realize they are not what they think they are, then slowly build them up to something greater. Like a building, if you have a weak foundation, you must destroy it first then rebuild it. Mom destroy your old foundation of stress and rebuilding it with compassion and love, but learn to love yourself more Mom, because your amazing!
Nanny and Papa ,Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. I thank you for the opportunity I had to speak to you the other day. I can't even write my feelings I have for you here, you've influenced my life that I cannot even understand yet. The things you've taught me have eternal consequences. Just know I love you so much and miss you
Now, I've thought about this next thing I am going to say and perhaps it was expected to come a lot of earlier than this, but this one thing I know is true. I know all the joy and happiness I have in this life is a direct result of two things. And that's you all my family, and the church. The love I have from you all is exemplified and I truly understand it because of the church and it's teachings because of the goodness of God. Now please listen to this next thing I want to say, please pay heed to what I have to say, I don't say this as a brainwashed missionary or an uneducated 20 year old kid, I say this as a loving, homesick, and heartbroken Son and Missionary. I know that if you read the book of Mormon it will change all your lives. I know that if you listen to the message of the missionaries you will find joy that cannot be explained. I don't have to convince you, you will be convinced. God will manifest the truth of it unto you all. I urge you I beg you, If I was in front of you I would say the same message, Read the Book of Mormon, Meet the Missionaries, Listen to their message ,ask God if the things I have said are true. I'm not saying you need to change your life, If you receive an answer from God he will tell you what to do. I know you have felt the spirit, I know the feeling you get in your hearts when you go to the Church and to the Missionary Night, that isn't a coincidence, it's not just a strange or unfamiliar feeling, its God calling you back to him. There is so much more happiness and joy waiting for you. Just give it one shot; if it's not your cup of tea I will never bother you again with it. Just try it once, I know that God lives, and Jesus Is the Christ, through him we will quiet all our fears and calm all our nerves, I know that Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God and he did see God the Father and his Son Jesus Christ, I know that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God on the earth today, he speaks and councils with God, I know that families can be together forever, and it’s one of my greatest desires to be sealed with you all. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, it's changed my life and I constantly want to be better every time I read it. I know that If you read and pray about it, God will answer your prayers that is a promise that will never change. Thank you for everything and I love you all very much.
love you no matter what,
Josh
Monday, May 17, 2010
May 17, 2010
Hey Family,
It was really glad to hear from you last week and I really loved talking to you over Skype that was fun. I'm glad you enjoyed missionary night that sounds so awesome! So by the time you get this tiffany will be in China, that's an interesting thought or I suppose she'll be leaving soon. The time is kind of weird for me ha. That's excited tell her she'll have to email me and give me weekly updates since we will both be in Asia! I hope you had a wonderful mothers day, I wish I could have written a better letter to be read in Sacrament but I really had no time, I apologize for it if it was weak! But anyways in other news. I'm at the mainland now! Yet it's Zone Conference again so we'll be here till Tuesday and head back to the Island Tuesday night. Everything is alright with my companionship, however I'm beginning to feel like you Mom. So now I'd like to take the time and apologizing for never cleaning the house and really taking you for granted. I suppose my companion was just like me before my mission, he never cleaned...which is the way he still is. So I'm fighting with that I'm trying to be humble, I get really angry somedays, however I just keep myself quiet and put on music. Other than that I love Zone con because we get to get off the Island so thats way nice! This week has been rough for us. We only got 9 lessons this week. But we worked very hard. I had an idea that we were going to tract our neighbors, because in the Philippines it's impossible to be rude to your neighbor! Well, I was wrong. We spent a whole afternoon going to our neighbors and we got no lessons. This one named Carole. She was getting a manicure, didn't even look at us. She turned her head and said "Ayoko" which translate literally "I hate it"--but really means "I don't want to." So it's always funny to continue talking to them when they are extremely rude like that. Nothing came out of it, but it's just interesting not to be treated as human beings sometimes because we wear Jesus Christ on our chest and have to face persecution for his sake, that's fine...they think we want them to buy things. They often surprised when we tell them our Pamphlets and Book of Mormons are NO CHARGE. I usually say, The only reason we are here is because this message has changed my life and helped me find happiness. To no avail they still don't listen. Which is fine. I often think of a line in one of the hymns in the church it's called "We Thank Thee of God For a Prophet" it says "Thus unto eternal perfection the faithful and honest will go, but those who reject this glad message, will never such happiness know" I can't tell you how many times I've hummed this hymn this week. But the work goes on! We have found some really good people who actually listen so that's good. I'm excited to teach and my tagalog gets better every single day. I won't lie, I'm excited to get another Filipino Companion. Other than that we've been teaching English and I realize I don't know english that well, haha some of their questions are really hard. For example did you know when you use the Articles The (Thee or The) you say The(Thee) when it starts with a vowel. Weird stuff. Other than that not much going on here. I met a really cool gal from Las Vegas here, her name is Jessy, she's in the peace corps and her family is visiting this week. So we get together some times and we talk, I've yet to introduce the Gospel but, We'll see the works still moving slowly in Boac.
Other that that you're Son is still alive and well. I'm still figuring out this mission thing and I am continually amazed at how good the Lord is to me. One of our members doesn't have a leg and had a really good conversation with him about Gratitude, needless to say later that night I fell on my knees and thank the Lord will all my heart.It reminds me of a quote I heard once.
"I once was blue, because I had no shoes.
Until I met a man on the street who had no feet."
I love you all and am incredible grateful for my life and all you've done for me.
Faithfully,
Josh
It was really glad to hear from you last week and I really loved talking to you over Skype that was fun. I'm glad you enjoyed missionary night that sounds so awesome! So by the time you get this tiffany will be in China, that's an interesting thought or I suppose she'll be leaving soon. The time is kind of weird for me ha. That's excited tell her she'll have to email me and give me weekly updates since we will both be in Asia! I hope you had a wonderful mothers day, I wish I could have written a better letter to be read in Sacrament but I really had no time, I apologize for it if it was weak! But anyways in other news. I'm at the mainland now! Yet it's Zone Conference again so we'll be here till Tuesday and head back to the Island Tuesday night. Everything is alright with my companionship, however I'm beginning to feel like you Mom. So now I'd like to take the time and apologizing for never cleaning the house and really taking you for granted. I suppose my companion was just like me before my mission, he never cleaned...which is the way he still is. So I'm fighting with that I'm trying to be humble, I get really angry somedays, however I just keep myself quiet and put on music. Other than that I love Zone con because we get to get off the Island so thats way nice! This week has been rough for us. We only got 9 lessons this week. But we worked very hard. I had an idea that we were going to tract our neighbors, because in the Philippines it's impossible to be rude to your neighbor! Well, I was wrong. We spent a whole afternoon going to our neighbors and we got no lessons. This one named Carole. She was getting a manicure, didn't even look at us. She turned her head and said "Ayoko" which translate literally "I hate it"--but really means "I don't want to." So it's always funny to continue talking to them when they are extremely rude like that. Nothing came out of it, but it's just interesting not to be treated as human beings sometimes because we wear Jesus Christ on our chest and have to face persecution for his sake, that's fine...they think we want them to buy things. They often surprised when we tell them our Pamphlets and Book of Mormons are NO CHARGE. I usually say, The only reason we are here is because this message has changed my life and helped me find happiness. To no avail they still don't listen. Which is fine. I often think of a line in one of the hymns in the church it's called "We Thank Thee of God For a Prophet" it says "Thus unto eternal perfection the faithful and honest will go, but those who reject this glad message, will never such happiness know" I can't tell you how many times I've hummed this hymn this week. But the work goes on! We have found some really good people who actually listen so that's good. I'm excited to teach and my tagalog gets better every single day. I won't lie, I'm excited to get another Filipino Companion. Other than that we've been teaching English and I realize I don't know english that well, haha some of their questions are really hard. For example did you know when you use the Articles The (Thee or The) you say The(Thee) when it starts with a vowel. Weird stuff. Other than that not much going on here. I met a really cool gal from Las Vegas here, her name is Jessy, she's in the peace corps and her family is visiting this week. So we get together some times and we talk, I've yet to introduce the Gospel but, We'll see the works still moving slowly in Boac.
Other that that you're Son is still alive and well. I'm still figuring out this mission thing and I am continually amazed at how good the Lord is to me. One of our members doesn't have a leg and had a really good conversation with him about Gratitude, needless to say later that night I fell on my knees and thank the Lord will all my heart.It reminds me of a quote I heard once.
"I once was blue, because I had no shoes.
Until I met a man on the street who had no feet."
I love you all and am incredible grateful for my life and all you've done for me.
Faithfully,
Josh
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Josh, Tele-conferenced us yesterday.. We were able to see him and he us.. It was awesome and he looked and sounded great and happy..Monday, April 26, 2010
April 26, 2010
Thanks for your letter last week with the words of encouragement and the update on the family! I think it's great that everyone is doing so well,the Lord is so good to me to be taking care of you all so well. This week Elder Villamil was transferred that means I got to go to the Island last Wednesday, and I got a new companion! Everyone said I would probably be training, which I am glad to say I am not. I get to work on my Tagalog more before I have to take on that challenge! My new companion is....AMERICAN. Ha my first american! His name is Elder Butler and he's from Southern Utah. We really get a long well together and I love our companionship so I am very happy here in Boac. I am also happy because after this transfer I will probably be transferred so I'll be leaving this Island on June 6th if it's the Lord's will, I be sure to pray hard haha life out here is rough. Last week alone we had brownouts every 8 hours. The 2 days before I left the Island Tuesday and Wednesday there were 5 brownouts a lone. Needless to say I've sweat off a lot of weight haha! Other than that the work continues to be really hard. But I'm still teaching some members my limited knowledge of Piano, but it's so awesome to see them progress! Yesterday we taught 2 members here, Brother Abet and Michael we taught them after Church at like 2:30, and we came back around 7:30p.m. They were still practicing! It was so amazing! Brother Abet is getting good, but there still struggling with reading notes, it's not an easy thing. Other than that we are really focusing on the Branch here. Corina, the girl who flipped out on me went to church yesterday. I'm not going to say it was a good experience, she was nice to me and we acting like nothing happened, but she would get very defensive and contentious when I would teach principals to her that she thought I was rebuking here. For instance in my opening prayer for sunday school I said. "Ama, Nagpapasalamt po kami kay sister corina at lahat ng mga sakrapisio niya upang magsimba araw ngayon " which is Father we are greatful for sister corina and her sacrafice to come to church today. Aftet there prayer she played the question game and was like why did you say it like that? It get's really old sometimes, and I don't have the spirit to teach. My companion asked her why she hasn't been baptized, it's been over 7months where she's been taught, she says she's waiting for the "perfect time" I wanted to reply, this is the perfect time, stop putting off the things God is telling you to do and the things you must do to gain eternal salvation because you are uncomfortable, salvation has never been an easy experience don't expect it to be.---but thankfully I was patient. I need to pray for her, it's distracted to have her at church, but I can't let her future and happiness be effected because of my feelings against her, so I'll carry on in this great work.
I say Elder Hansen at transfer day this week, and he told me that you email him every week, haha we had a good laugh, however it was good to see him. Hopefully we'll "maka-companion" sometime. I want to teach you two really great Tagalog word that we need to adapt into english!
The first is. Kwan or Kuan (like Kwan your personal police officer ;) anyways this word is amazing. It is used when you forget the name for ANYTHING, for instance if you forget someones name you just say, Hoy, brother kwan, or when explaining a story and the person knows that you're talking about your car just use the word Kwan. At times it's annoying because I really have no idea what people are saying then I ask what they mean.
The second and INFINITELY BETTER is. "Daw" This is used when someone says something and you are quoting them but you don't say who said it. For instance. I ask for water, but someone doesn't hear me.
Me: Ate, maari kong humihingi ng tubig?
Ate: ano?
you: Tubig Daw
Me: "ang pangit daw ng t-shirt mo talaga" "it's said that your shirt is really ugly"
You: "Talaga?" "Really?"
Me: "Oo Naman" "Yes, Really"
haha I don't know why I taught you this, perhaps I'll use it in an email and you will no longer be confused ;)
anywho.
I think that it's way awesome that you are having missionary night at the house....my only thought is what are the dogs going to do! If I remember Michaela and I do, she's beyond noisy! haha
p.s. I haven't gotten the packages yet, but next week the Zone Leaders go to Zone Leader Council next week so they'll bring em back to me
When is Tiff going to china for sure?
Is Curt still racing the cars?
How was mexico? How many friends do you have overthere?
Do you still have long fingernails?
Mom, Curt, Dad, Tiff, Jess, Zach thank you so much for letting me go on this crazy adventure. But to me it seems like the only thing I must be doing. It's hard, it's challenging but the Lord has been so close with me here. I love you all so much and miss you like you wouldn't believe.
Mom I have a suprise coming your way.
Malapit na I'll get to call you!
Faithfully,
Joshy
I say Elder Hansen at transfer day this week, and he told me that you email him every week, haha we had a good laugh, however it was good to see him. Hopefully we'll "maka-companion" sometime. I want to teach you two really great Tagalog word that we need to adapt into english!
The first is. Kwan or Kuan (like Kwan your personal police officer ;) anyways this word is amazing. It is used when you forget the name for ANYTHING, for instance if you forget someones name you just say, Hoy, brother kwan, or when explaining a story and the person knows that you're talking about your car just use the word Kwan. At times it's annoying because I really have no idea what people are saying then I ask what they mean.
The second and INFINITELY BETTER is. "Daw" This is used when someone says something and you are quoting them but you don't say who said it. For instance. I ask for water, but someone doesn't hear me.
Me: Ate, maari kong humihingi ng tubig?
Ate: ano?
you: Tubig Daw
Me: "ang pangit daw ng t-shirt mo talaga" "it's said that your shirt is really ugly"
You: "Talaga?" "Really?"
Me: "Oo Naman" "Yes, Really"
haha I don't know why I taught you this, perhaps I'll use it in an email and you will no longer be confused ;)
anywho.
I think that it's way awesome that you are having missionary night at the house....my only thought is what are the dogs going to do! If I remember Michaela and I do, she's beyond noisy! haha
p.s. I haven't gotten the packages yet, but next week the Zone Leaders go to Zone Leader Council next week so they'll bring em back to me
When is Tiff going to china for sure?
Is Curt still racing the cars?
How was mexico? How many friends do you have overthere?
Do you still have long fingernails?
Mom, Curt, Dad, Tiff, Jess, Zach thank you so much for letting me go on this crazy adventure. But to me it seems like the only thing I must be doing. It's hard, it's challenging but the Lord has been so close with me here. I love you all so much and miss you like you wouldn't believe.
Mom I have a suprise coming your way.
Malapit na I'll get to call you!
Faithfully,
Joshy
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
April 19, 2010
Mga Kapatid ko,
MOM YOU ARE AMAZING! malapit na ang mothers day! :) That means I'll get to call yeeehaw!
I was thinking this week about you of course and I wanted to make sure to thank you for being so stong though all this. I unfortunately know a little about how hard this maybe for you all. It certainly is difficult for me, but I have it lucky because I am so emerced in a new culture, language, and people. However you are all in the old routine, I don't speak unhumbly, I considering my calling very sacred and I'm happy I'm here and that is a direct result because how good you are all to me. It's funny. The biggest thing I've learned here. Is the role of family, the love that consumes my soul that I feel from you even all these 1,000 of miles away. and the unquenchable longing I have to see you all again. Indeed it hurts, It's depressing, It's distracting. However, it's neccisary. I couldn't possible be the person I want and must be if I didn't sacrafice EVERYTHING. I have made covenants to the Lord that I am willing to give everything to him, and so far I'm trying. I'm not perfect I don't work as hard I possible can every day, But I'm changing--I'm being perfected. I'm being who I want to be and thats all I really want to say about that.
This week in Boac is tough, all our progressing investigators have dropped us or dropped them. We have literally NO ONE TO TEACH. I was told this week that people "Hate me", I am "Inconsiderate", and that they "Hate my eyes". We were teaching a 23 year old single mother who is having a ton of problems in here life, she is realizing that her life has to change and she lossed opportunities because she had a kid. So she decided to take it out on the missionaries... which is fine with me. But we taught a lesson from the Doctrine and Covenants (A book of Revelations that Joseph Smith recieved) about an analogy the lord gave. Called The Parable of the nobleman and olive trees. So theres this nobleman he has a really nice piece of land so he hires these workers to look after his oliveyard, and he commands them to build a tower. They don't see why they should build a tower because it's a time of peace, they think it's not important to follow his council it's illogical, no one is going to attack, So they put off the building for a nother day. Then that night, men come and attack the oliveyard and destoy the olivetrees. So the Nobleman of the vineyard rebukes them and asks them why there was no watch tower. We made the conclusion when we were teaching, that we are command of the Lord to go to church, read the scriptures, pray everyday. We don't know why we are...sometimes it sucks, some times it's hard, sometimes we must sacrafice every single thing we have, and most the time all we have isn't enough. We almost feel that we are never content with what we can give to the Lord, but if we do all we can the Lord promises to give the rest. We made the analogy, sometimes when theres trials in our lives we don't know why...we don't know why we have to face all this "hard labor" of building a tower, but the Nobleman knows...or the Lord knows. He's said that all our trials and afflictions will be "but a small moment and if we endure it well" He "Exalt us on high" everything is for our good.
So when I explained this to her, it seems that she lossed it. She screamed " I hate you two! I HATE YOU!" Then I said "Well I'm sorry you feel that way...okay we'll be going"---my companion urged me to stay, So I sat down. Then she said "I dont CARE IF YOU LOOK AT ME, JUST SIT AND LISTEN DONT SPEAK" then she lamented about her life for over an hour. I'll admit I was rather irritated, but I swallowed my pride and listend to her quietly. The only thing I could think of when she was explaining all her problems from having a kid was one scriptures... from the book of momon in the book of alma 41:10 which states
"Wickedness Never Was Happiness"
I'm certain she thought it was fun when she was messing around with the boyfiend who is now long gone, But in the long run, everything caught up with her. The reality of parenthood, the reality of consequence, and the reality of bad choices. Her life, her dreams, her passions. are all gone. And who can she blame but herself? Of couse I didn't say any of these things. But it stands as a testimony in my mind of how we need the Lord. So very much. When we were leaving I bore a testimony saying that, whatever she decides to do, join the church, persecute the church, whatever job she has, whatevery happens. The Lord will always be there for her, through thick and thin because he is faithful.
To which she replied "I hate your eyes, because I think the Lord is using them to tell me eveything will be okay"
I don't know what will happen to her, she avoids us now, and doesnt come to church. But she's been given the Truth and now it's her privelage and duty to act upon it.
Those are my feelings at this moment.
Gotta Run, I love you so much
MOM YOU ARE AMAZING! malapit na ang mothers day! :) That means I'll get to call yeeehaw!
I was thinking this week about you of course and I wanted to make sure to thank you for being so stong though all this. I unfortunately know a little about how hard this maybe for you all. It certainly is difficult for me, but I have it lucky because I am so emerced in a new culture, language, and people. However you are all in the old routine, I don't speak unhumbly, I considering my calling very sacred and I'm happy I'm here and that is a direct result because how good you are all to me. It's funny. The biggest thing I've learned here. Is the role of family, the love that consumes my soul that I feel from you even all these 1,000 of miles away. and the unquenchable longing I have to see you all again. Indeed it hurts, It's depressing, It's distracting. However, it's neccisary. I couldn't possible be the person I want and must be if I didn't sacrafice EVERYTHING. I have made covenants to the Lord that I am willing to give everything to him, and so far I'm trying. I'm not perfect I don't work as hard I possible can every day, But I'm changing--I'm being perfected. I'm being who I want to be and thats all I really want to say about that.
This week in Boac is tough, all our progressing investigators have dropped us or dropped them. We have literally NO ONE TO TEACH. I was told this week that people "Hate me", I am "Inconsiderate", and that they "Hate my eyes". We were teaching a 23 year old single mother who is having a ton of problems in here life, she is realizing that her life has to change and she lossed opportunities because she had a kid. So she decided to take it out on the missionaries... which is fine with me. But we taught a lesson from the Doctrine and Covenants (A book of Revelations that Joseph Smith recieved) about an analogy the lord gave. Called The Parable of the nobleman and olive trees. So theres this nobleman he has a really nice piece of land so he hires these workers to look after his oliveyard, and he commands them to build a tower. They don't see why they should build a tower because it's a time of peace, they think it's not important to follow his council it's illogical, no one is going to attack, So they put off the building for a nother day. Then that night, men come and attack the oliveyard and destoy the olivetrees. So the Nobleman of the vineyard rebukes them and asks them why there was no watch tower. We made the conclusion when we were teaching, that we are command of the Lord to go to church, read the scriptures, pray everyday. We don't know why we are...sometimes it sucks, some times it's hard, sometimes we must sacrafice every single thing we have, and most the time all we have isn't enough. We almost feel that we are never content with what we can give to the Lord, but if we do all we can the Lord promises to give the rest. We made the analogy, sometimes when theres trials in our lives we don't know why...we don't know why we have to face all this "hard labor" of building a tower, but the Nobleman knows...or the Lord knows. He's said that all our trials and afflictions will be "but a small moment and if we endure it well" He "Exalt us on high" everything is for our good.
So when I explained this to her, it seems that she lossed it. She screamed " I hate you two! I HATE YOU!" Then I said "Well I'm sorry you feel that way...okay we'll be going"---my companion urged me to stay, So I sat down. Then she said "I dont CARE IF YOU LOOK AT ME, JUST SIT AND LISTEN DONT SPEAK" then she lamented about her life for over an hour. I'll admit I was rather irritated, but I swallowed my pride and listend to her quietly. The only thing I could think of when she was explaining all her problems from having a kid was one scriptures... from the book of momon in the book of alma 41:10 which states
"Wickedness Never Was Happiness"
I'm certain she thought it was fun when she was messing around with the boyfiend who is now long gone, But in the long run, everything caught up with her. The reality of parenthood, the reality of consequence, and the reality of bad choices. Her life, her dreams, her passions. are all gone. And who can she blame but herself? Of couse I didn't say any of these things. But it stands as a testimony in my mind of how we need the Lord. So very much. When we were leaving I bore a testimony saying that, whatever she decides to do, join the church, persecute the church, whatever job she has, whatevery happens. The Lord will always be there for her, through thick and thin because he is faithful.
To which she replied "I hate your eyes, because I think the Lord is using them to tell me eveything will be okay"
I don't know what will happen to her, she avoids us now, and doesnt come to church. But she's been given the Truth and now it's her privelage and duty to act upon it.
Those are my feelings at this moment.
Gotta Run, I love you so much
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