September 21, 2009

Pamilia,

Kumusta po Kayo? I miss you badly. This week has been trying... however, it's also been interesting and a good experience. I guess I'll start off 4 days ago. When I got called down to the President's office he told me that I would not be leaving with my District this week but would be staying behind on account of my foot, at the time I had been walking on it for 2-3 days, and there is virtually no pain. This was at first really upsetting and I was really mad, I thought I'm going to miss my districts farewell I love these people, It's going to be so lonely blah blah blah. I was mad for about a half an hour. Then I felt an impression that sad this: Who was with you when you joined the Church? I was Who was with you when you studied those nights and truely asked me for faith? I was and Who will be with you when we fly to the Phillippines and through out your mission? I will be.

Then a Hymn came into mind :How Firm a Foundation: which says which I'm sure I quoted her before

Fear Not I am with thee oh be not dismayed.
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen, Help thee, and cause thee to stand.
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.

and then I felt peace and order, I still don't know exactly why I'm here but I kind see that it's a blessing from God. I have another week to study the language or maybe help the district that is struggling here. I'm really thankful that I got to call you it was nice to hear your voice, and the letter was great.

Something I realized this week: People can say they believe in God and have all faith and would do anything for him, but I noticed this week especially with myself, when the times does come when a tribulation or  infirminity comes along, it really lets you know where you are at. Are you on the line pushing back to hold that faith you so dearly love, or  are you in the stands buying popcorn. I'm glad I had this experience at first I was really troubled as to why God would have this happen to me, but I'm thankful he reasurred me in that hour that I needed let me know that he still loves me. I was a little bit ashamed for a day or so I walked around with a temper and just overall sadness, that really put me in place. I don't like or have the faith to Suffer the Will of the Father, and now I know I need to. I need to face whatever comes to me and look toward the horizon and know that God is there. It's sadden me that it's true but I also rejoice because now I can fix this problem, pray for faith and diligence in this work that it so dearly needs. One thing I am greatful for is that there is a God who's arm is extended to anyone who will lift up and grab it, it's available to all. The best decision I have made in my life was to open my eyes and see it, and that was because of great friends and loving neighbors. And I was able to see it because I was raised in a wonderful home with extradinary parents and siblings! So thanks again!!! It's so great to here about Zach's games and how well he is doing it's amazing! It's good to hear about Tiffany and how well she is doing. I hope jess is doing well with her new job and Jason I'm going to try and write them today. I hope nanny and papa, Curt and dad, and you are great as well. You sound to have had a pretty tough week at work, I hope the world is treating you well.

Oh! I forgot to mention Elder Holland<-- another apostles came and spoke to us, he is one of my favorites, incredible intelligent man. He is so enthusiastic about missionary work and loves every single one of us he really pumped me up for my mission he said he has thought about his mission everyday for the past 49 years, and every good thing that is in his life is a result of it. I hope that I may serve and learn to love the people, forget my culture, and self and serve unselfishly to have that same experience. although the MTC experience is coming to an end these are days never to be forgotten. I've grown so close to my district, God, and even though we are far away family. I'm sorry for not always being around I realized the important of family here, and I cannot wait to see you again.

I'm not worried about Tagalog, I have a lot of studying time this week. This week I think is just really for self reflection and studying Christ life. I have 100pages left in the New Testament and I already finished the Book of Mormon. I think I'm just going to  read over the book of Job and see his strength and faith and then read about Christ... I believe that's what this dark and sad world needs hope in  something that is eternal and loving, opposed to temporal satisfactiorial things. and even if they don't listen to my message or slam the door in my face I'm just going to try to have the attitude and countenance of Christ so that the Love of God for his people will be shown through me and that maybe my smile can bring happiness to one person.---Sorry for this Rant, it's how I feel though.


I'm overly excited to get to the Philippines, I want to help those people badly and I want to lose my culture so that I can "Makisama" and so that they may know I speak words of Truth and Eternal Life. Everything that brings me hope in my life is my family and God himself. That is why I am here, that is my purpose, that is my eternal identity.

Wish me luck and keep up with the letters I truly love them they inspire me and help me through out the day. I'm changing districts so when you dear elder just put my name Elder Gonzalez Philippines and they will find me, I'll write you later this week to let you know my address.

Wish me luck, I pray for you nightly and love you.

It's time for me to make my clap that will sound throughout all eternity and serve and love so that those people who see me will know that I stand with the Lord, that I am his servent, and I will be his servent forever. And If I happen to die there it will be a testament to Heaven that I will stand with the Lord forever and held nothing back.

With all my love and wishes
Your Son,

Elder Gonzalez