December 28, 2009

Family,

Sorry this email maybe short I spent sometime emailing other people.

It was such a pleasure to talk to you on the phone the other day--unfortunately I was not able to call NaNa-- :/ because we had curfew and had to go to Lipa before 6 and I ran out of Load on the Phone Card--sorry!

My companionship is "Interesting" for lack of a better word. Another good word is trying or Tsiyaga which is Patience in Tagalog. Elder Casuga is a good person don't get me wrong--but he's also different. The way he approaches work is different. We are polar opposites but I'm glad for the opportunity when I face opposition and hard times I look as it as a time for growth and this immature 20 year old kid that is your son needs as much growth as I can get. I'm trying hard but it seems the responsibility has fallen in my lap--I've become the senior or in other words I'm leading this companionship--which sucks because sometimes I don't do the things I should sometimes I slack off sometimes I dont want to work. It seems I've forgotten this week why I'm here, why I'm even in the Philippines---I suppose because I became trunky from calling home. but I havent working as hard as I should be. Someone once told me in the MTC--you should work so hard every single day that you come home and pass out from exhaustion and cry because you worked so hard that day--frankly I haven't lived up to my calling and what I should be. I really don't know who I am--I doubt I'll ever truly know--but I know who i've been and who I want to be or who I should be---this week has been very reflective for me. I received letters from friends that really made me happy, I see their goals and aspirations to pursue what they want to do and it's pleased me so much! I'm just as excited for them as if it was myself--I've grown up here it's true but at the same time I haven't grown up enough- the tremendous load is on me it's true and I'm not living up to what I want to be--You can't make everyone happy--but you should at least try and make yourself happy right? Well I'm not happy with myself so I shall change and work harder next week i haven't done anything "Wrong" just not enough if that makes sense?

I write this letter with sorrow in my heart, because I miss a land that is far away, friends that are soon forgetting me, a loving family that is the best thing that's happened to me and I'm so happy that they are well, and I'm not content with who I am ---but my eye is set on who I should be

stay tuned it's time for me to obtain self perfection or at least try---with God anything is possible.

I love you all very much my beloved family and friends


Love.