January 18, 2010

Family,


I received some good emails this week and took a lot of time to read them so I suppose this letter maybe a little short if it is I apoligize but I'm sure you'll forgive me, last weeks letter I really put my heart and soul into it and if you didn't get anything out of it--- well that's a shame.

At anyrate, I've calm down a bit and I took your advice Mom, I decided to "Breathe" I also took the advice of Craig Steele, without knowing it. Wednesday, Elder Casuga got into our first argument--I can't explain how GREAT it felt. Now I know that contention is wrong and I shouldn't delight in yelling at him and telling him he's not a missionary but that's what took place---and it actually helped! This week I had to have two serious conversations. One was with Casuga, I layed out the knew rules told him what he will do or he'll go home, and it seems our whole companionship has change...I attribute that to prayer and fasting, I've fasted 2 or 3 times for Casuga and prayed many times. The tender mercies of the Lord is now all around me and in my companionship, we are becoming friends it's great. And there are no more locked doors! but that is on account of me breaking off the door handles, so I will have to buy some new ones next week sorry-- So everything is good with me and Casuga and the work is moving! I love this work.

The second serious discussion I had to have was with a ward missionary of ours, he is from a different ward, but worked with us almost everyday---I won't lie the kid was a little strange, but I loved and enjoyed him nonetheless. So news came from my AP's and Zone Leaders that he's "Bawal" or forbidden to work with--because awhile ago I guess he stole from Missionaries and some other charges of who knows what. So following the council of my leaders, I sat him down and told him. I thought it was odd that he always told me not to tell the Darasa Missionaries (Where he's from) that I was working with him, I suppose I didn't take much thought. But I told him the knews, I told him that they said I can't work with you and that I don't really know the reason but I'm going to follow their council. Well after I had said that--lies filled his mouth, and he spit out his venomous lies to me, I really tried to stay patient he used almost every excuse he could think of and then even asked me if he could work today with me. I replied I'm sorry I said no. and Let me tell you something--you and I both know why your bawal--So save the crap don't lie to me--Huwag Kang Magsinugaling talaga--alam mo iyen--I told him if he wanted to work with us he should take his problem to our mission pres. and ask him and if allows it then I will work with them, but don't lie to me you and I know the truth cut the crap. I noticed from his frantic excuses how pathetic and lonely a liar really looks. When we justify and make excuses and try to lie our way out of things our emotions really show on our faces. It was interesting, I've noticed a change in myself, I was very patient with him and I felt bad for him---I told him that I enjoyed working with him, but from my point of view what is better...listening to the Council of the Lord and his annointed or lie to them and work with you...my backs against a wall so thank you for your work but it's overnow. I suppose I had an effect on him, he came back that night around 9:30 and apologized for lying and said his goodbyes, so I suppose I will never see him again. So is the life in missionary work.

I'm glad to hear you are enjoying those missionary get togethers, they sound like a lot of fun! and If I can remember well which I think I do, Sister Steele is a great cook--but Chili? That's wack! She didn't even feed you Indonesian food tsk tsk tsk! I'm sure I will cook Filipino food when I get home it's getting easier and easier to cook, and I absolutely love it! Something I developed a taste for I never thought I would was Sardines, Dried Fish, and 2 day old rice.--yeah what is happening to me,
I'm so excited for Zach to start Varsity, I'm a bit afraid I'll have to come home and live next to this monster who I used to tease when we were growing up--aisha! Maybe I won't come home for sake of my life.

I'm sorry for taking so much $ out this week, E. Casuga ran out of $ and I've been having to pay for everything--I'm really trying not to rob you all--sorry.

update I'm not going to send Christmas presents home, yeah I bought them but it's honestly waaaay to expensive to send them and they aren't that great next year na lang!

Regarding Rasa,
It was really interesting to hear about this, and knowing a few friends of mine and their opinion they really won't care, I had the very same concious at first, but then I really began to think about it. I was never really close to her, I still talked to her in classes and knew her from school but we were only really aquantinces, but when I was reflecting this week after the member you texted showed me the news, it brought the words of the english poet John Donne to my mind:
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
I felt bad for the way I had thought, and althought I wasn't close, I still feel bad for the family and her in general 19 years is merely a scratch on the surface of life. So I hope and pray for her family and for all those around the world who have to deal with the fatal tragedy of life, which is death, but I believe that is not merely the end. God did not create us to perish that is not his design--but that's a whole nother letter and a nother time. I love you all very much and you wouldn't believe the joy I've found out here. So remember my beloved family

never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee

With all my love, support, bad humor, insecurity, lack of understanding, pride, and prejudice

Elder Gonzalez