January 25

"It is not fair that you (America) enjoy a good life while our brothers in Gaza endure the worst standard of living. Therefore, God willing, our attacks against you will continue as long as you maintain your support to Israel."
-Osama Bin Laden

I'm begining to see why people think religion ruins the world. I opened the internet and this popped up on yahoo.ph.com and I couldn't help but read the article..apparently Bin Ladens at it again? What a joke. It's interesting to see how the envy of someone makes them want to terrorize and kill. I've read some of the Quoran, I've studied Islam, I've read what Mohammad has written, and I still don't understand how these people can be consistant in what they believe and do the things they do, it's agrivating and pathetic. I just hope to God nothing will happen to any of my loved ones. But at the same time I see this wrapping things up in a sense. It's recorded in the scriptures that before the end of the world, the Abomination of Desolation will take place, which is really just Jerusalem being destroyed completely, if my knowledge of the end of the world is right...I could be very wrong..at anyrate it's evident, there are signs, and there are idiots like Osama to be blunt. I don't really fill like talking about this so I will change the subject.

I have to confess something to you Mom...Last email you said "I am proud of you even when he frustrated you beside tearing up doorknobs you maintained yourself."
That however proved otherwise Friday night. I finally lost my patience with Casuga.
It was Friday night, he had 2 days left, and I told him. "Elder Casuga make sure you go the the Family Home Evening tonight, it's important. You set the appointment and the Relief Society(the group of woman in the church after you're married you join it) is there to, if you don't show it will look VERY BAD. That's the only thing you have to do okay? I even texted the person he was working with twice and told him 6:00 DON'T BE LATE! So JayJay and I went working, and we had appointments until 6:15. During the lesson we got a text from the RS and they said "Where are you, your late" So then we texted Casuga...Where are you? and he replied "Aalis Kami alas 7" We'll leave at 7.---

that's when I was pissed, I came home and saw him washing his clothes and hadn't worked ALL DAY. Just sat in the house and made a member sit with him too. So I lost it completely. I said a few words I shouldn't have said, I yelled, and scared at him beyond belief. I slammed doors, I told him he was NEVER A MISSIONARY, and I should take him to Alaminos so he can go home. I asked him why he was here, he replied to preach the gospel and I said "BUT YOU DOn'T TEACH! YOU JUST WASTE TIME"---the most amazing thing out of this all or I suppose the thing I realized is how "gone" he really is. The whole time I yelled at him the only emotion I saw was FEAR. That's it. I didn't see sadness I didn't see regret I didn't see anything, just FEAR. Even Animals fear when they see me. After everything was done, after I yelled at him...nothing changed, no emotion. What happened later is I couldn't stand it I went to the church and called President to vent. To which is reply was something like this "Elder, I wish I was there Yelling at him with you! We knew this would probably happen, of course we were hoping it didn't but it did, if you're looking at me to yell at you or tell you you did something wrong, you're looking for the wrong guy, if I was in your shoes I'd a probably hit em" Of course this made me feel good to have president on my back, but I still feel bad for yelling at him. President sent the AP's to our house, E. Park and I went to a Cafe, had ice cream and just had fun and hung out till I calmed down. E. Gaerlan (other AP) and E. Casuga were at home and I believe Gaerlan gave him a talking to, because every time Gaerlan was a District Leader, Zone Leader, and AP he has had to talk and deal with Casuga. At anyrate I tell you this story to tell you that your son failed. I still haven't completely conquered my anger, but it's helping honestly I've changed so much I'm more patient but I'm not perfect and it sucks, but that's life I suppose.

Right now I'm companions with E. Cabatuando, the ZL from Lipa, he's my buddy so we get a long well. Transfer day is on Friday and I know that I'll have an amazing companion.

So I suppose I'll tell you about teaching. I've been becoming friends with an less active member named Walley who is the husband of the Primary President (Class for Kids) and I've been teaching him and teaching him. She always laments to me about the condition of her marriage and how the church makes him mad. He would even slam the door or turn of the CD player when there is church music. So I sat down with him and taught a lesson about miracles. We read from the Book of Mormon in Ether Chapter 12. I explained that Miracles only come when one shows enough faith, and God can only make miracles happen if people have faith. I then asked him if he wanted to see a miracle? he of course said yes. I then said Okay but I need your help walley. I said here is your miracle and read Ether 12:11 outloud
11 Wherefore, by faith was the law of Moses given. But in the gift of his Son hath God prepared a more excellent way; and it is by faith that it hath been fulfilled.

I said if you want to see a miracle in your life, heres how. The more excellent way or Mabuting Paradaan---Walley, if you go back to church,if you love your wife, if you read the scriptures,and do the things you know you should do, I promise you that your life, marriage ,and family will change. that will be your miracle..
We talked more and he opened up about his problem which is the problem with everyone. He's afraid because he's done something and doesn't feel he belongs in church he doens't want to repent because he's prideful---is what he said. I replied by opening the 9th chapterof Luke verse 62
62 And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

or in other words, yeah we all screw up. I'm by no means perfect, I yell, I get angry, I soldomley swear, I'm an ungrateful son, I still battle with sin, I judge people,I'm prideful, I've done stupid things in my life. but If we contiually look back at the stupid things we've done...how on earth do we ever move forward. I like to use this scripture because people are very familiar with Calabao's or water buffalos and I ask if the farmer keeps looking behind himself where will the water buffalo go? Siempre! he'll go off course.

So I suppose my lesson today for you all is. Yeah we've messed up, yeah we all have guilt and regret. but to quote my mtc teacher bro. LEslie. "That's the cool thing about repentance"--It works. If you honestly want to get rid of guilt and sadness of the stuff you've done it's easy.... repent. Tell God what you've done and try your hardest to NEVER do it again and when you do, KEEP TRYING.

at anyrate I don't want to preach to you, I do that enough every day, I want to tell you Mom, Curt, Dad, Jessica, Tiffany, Zach, Nanay, Papa, and whoever else reads these crazy letters that I love you and care for you.. I don't act like it all the time, sometimes I say rude things in my letters, sometimes before my mission I'm sure I offended you. But please listen to my words in this next line.

In the last 6 months there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought of you, each and every one of you. There hasn't been a prayer were I havent pleaded with God to protect you and bless and thank him for you. Theres been many times where my body physically ached because of the seperation between us, yeah emails are nice, letters are cool, packages are amazing, but it doesn't compare seeing you, hugging you, having a conversation---and that will be the burden I will carry for the next 18 months as a disciple of our Lord and Savior. and I am honored to wear my nametag each and everyday.

Know that I love you and think the world of you, you don't compare to anyone or anything, and it would be a shame if I didn't tell you that in every email so please forgive me for not doing that.


With all my love, support, bad humor, and prayers

Your Son,


Josh