April 19, 2010

Mga Kapatid ko,


MOM YOU ARE AMAZING! malapit na ang mothers day! :) That means I'll get to call yeeehaw!
I was thinking this week about you of course and I wanted to make sure to thank you for being so stong though all this. I unfortunately know a little about how hard this maybe for you all. It certainly is difficult for me, but I have it lucky because I am so emerced in a new culture, language, and people. However you are all in the old routine, I don't speak unhumbly, I considering my calling very sacred and I'm happy I'm here and that is a direct result because how good you are all to me. It's funny. The biggest thing I've learned here. Is the role of family, the love that consumes my soul that I feel from you even all these 1,000 of miles away. and the unquenchable longing I have to see you all again. Indeed it hurts, It's depressing, It's distracting. However, it's neccisary. I couldn't possible be the person I want and must be if I didn't sacrafice EVERYTHING. I have made covenants to the Lord that I am willing to give everything to him, and so far I'm trying. I'm not perfect I don't work as hard I possible can every day, But I'm changing--I'm being perfected. I'm being who I want to be and thats all I really want to say about that.

This week in Boac is tough, all our progressing investigators have dropped us or dropped them. We have literally NO ONE TO TEACH. I was told this week that people "Hate me", I am "Inconsiderate", and that they "Hate my eyes". We were teaching a 23 year old single mother who is having a ton of problems in here life, she is realizing that her life has to change and she lossed opportunities because she had a kid. So she decided to take it out on the missionaries... which is fine with me. But we taught a lesson from the Doctrine and Covenants (A book of Revelations that Joseph Smith recieved) about an analogy the lord gave. Called The Parable of the nobleman and olive trees. So theres this nobleman he has a really nice piece of land so he hires these workers to look after his oliveyard, and he commands them to build a tower. They don't see why they should build a tower because it's a time of peace, they think it's not important to follow his council it's illogical, no one is going to attack, So they put off the building for a nother day. Then that night, men come and attack the oliveyard and destoy the olivetrees. So the Nobleman of the vineyard rebukes them and asks them why there was no watch tower. We made the conclusion when we were teaching, that we are command of the Lord to go to church, read the scriptures, pray everyday. We don't know why we are...sometimes it sucks, some times it's hard, sometimes we must sacrafice every single thing we have, and most the time all we have isn't enough. We almost feel that we are never content with what we can give to the Lord, but if we do all we can the Lord promises to give the rest. We made the analogy, sometimes when theres trials in our lives we don't know why...we don't know why we have to face all this "hard labor" of building a tower, but the Nobleman knows...or the Lord knows. He's said that all our trials and afflictions will be "but a small moment and if we endure it well" He "Exalt us on high" everything is for our good.
So when I explained this to her, it seems that she lossed it. She screamed " I hate you two! I HATE YOU!" Then I said "Well I'm sorry you feel that way...okay we'll be going"---my companion urged me to stay, So I sat down. Then she said "I dont CARE IF YOU LOOK AT ME, JUST SIT AND LISTEN DONT SPEAK" then she lamented about her life for over an hour. I'll admit I was rather irritated, but I swallowed my pride and listend to her quietly. The only thing I could think of when she was explaining all her problems from having a kid was one scriptures... from the book of momon in the book of alma 41:10 which states

"Wickedness Never Was Happiness"

I'm certain she thought it was fun when she was messing around with the boyfiend who is now long gone, But in the long run, everything caught up with her. The reality of parenthood, the reality of consequence, and the reality of bad choices. Her life, her dreams, her passions. are all gone. And who can she blame but herself? Of couse I didn't say any of these things. But it stands as a testimony in my mind of how we need the Lord. So very much. When we were leaving I bore a testimony saying that, whatever she decides to do, join the church, persecute the church, whatever job she has, whatevery happens. The Lord will always be there for her, through thick and thin because he is faithful.
To which she replied "I hate your eyes, because I think the Lord is using them to tell me eveything will be okay"

I don't know what will happen to her, she avoids us now, and doesnt come to church. But she's been given the Truth and now it's her privelage and duty to act upon it.

Those are my feelings at this moment.


Gotta Run, I love you so much